Top 5 Billy Bob Thornton Weirdnesses I actually tolerated and attributed to common, typical celebrity weirdness…
5. A fear of antique furniture, mostly French (wonder if that includes French-Canadian dining room tables with spots of mashed potatoes?)
4. Fear of flatware (I hate washing forks, but I’m certainly not scared of a steak knife…)
3. Five marriages. Really, after about #3, I’d take a serious look at myself. When does marriage/divorce become a hobby and not a meaningful activity?
2. The whole blood-around-the-neck thing. I know you claimed they weren’t vials but instead “lockets with a drop of blood”. Is there a difference? Blood around the neck is blood around the neck. Majorly creepy.
1. Suggest that mashed potatoes should be eaten WITHOUT gravy.
This one is the topper. I just can’t imagine why a man in his right mind (loosely speaking) would ever disrespect one fan (you know, those crazy people who make you popular by buying your music and watching your movies), let alone an entire nation of them. Luckily, I’m an American country music fan and can eat potatoes in whatever way I chose without being labeled, but I still feel he’s unfair to my Canadian friends.
The worst part of his digression suggests that mashed potatoes should be (or physically CAN be) eaten without a topping. Most times, I’d rather eat a spoonful of gravy without potatoes. It’s like eating bread without real butter, or peanut butter without chocolate…or donuts without sprinkles. Mashed potatoes without gravy…it’s just unAmerican.
And obviously unCanadian as well. Long live gravy, the Maple Leafs, Canadians with their cute accents & country music all around the world.