Archive for June, 2009
6-24-09, Weds.
8:35 am
B.R. Park
20′07
18:05 min/mi
1.11 miles
187 calories
Pre-jog thoughts: My brain was so ready for this run for some odd reason. Maybe not enough shiny things or pretty sprinkles to look at for entertainment. I was up at 6:30, as usual, and from about 6:50, the brain wanted to jog. Since the temp is supposed to hover in the 90s today, I obliged. Plus, remember: the earlier you hit the park, the fewer weirdos in your path.
Jog thoughts: Evidently the body did NOT get the brain’s memo today re: being stoked for a run. Body bitched the entire time, from first strike. Odd pain in the right knee cap–not a usual spot for pain. The calves were a bit sore today as well, which flummoxed me (love that word!) until I remembered the dog & I took a new path at the park yesterday with lots of stairs.
Starting out, I had a gut feeling I wouldn’t make a new personal best. First off, Tiger is tired of me and second, I just didn’t feel it. Instead I set my sights a bit loftier: run all the way through to the last little hill. This means no walking up the hill after the half-way point. Jogging only to the last hill, walk about 30 seconds, jog.
Guess what? I did even better. I didn’t walk for one single minute of my jog (or second). Did you hear me? I RAN 20 STRAIGHT MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING. Not something I thought I’d do when I’d eyed that plate of donuts around Easter time.
Post Jog: Walking it off felt good. No more pain, except that darn niggling cramp in the left calf. That’s almost always there. Did some good stretching, came home to take the dog down to the little park by our house.
What I Noticed: Disgusting things. While I love and utilize public parks for their beauty, evidently the scuzzy people use it as their bedrooms. If Trojan ever needs market research on the cheap, they should stop by the parking lot and check out the variety of prophylactic wrappers in the dirt around the parking lot. Oh, not just wrappers either. Real horses in every color there, too. Nothing says “romantic night” like ripping off the foil top in a public parking lot. You know you’ve got yourself one hell of a man if he takes you to the parking lot for a romantic night.
The only reason I’m obsessed with the amount of condomage around the parking lot is because it’s distracting me from the number of empty syringes lying next to them. Hey, better safe than sorry. At least someone’s using protection.
First time for…:laughing while I jogged. Passed an elderly man having a tough time walking.
“Gotta stay in shape somehow,” he comments, motioning to himself while walking.
“Yeah, I know,” I reply.
“You do that every day?” he asks. I assume he means the jogging, not the profuse sweating and heavy panting. Although, if one of those condom wrappers are his…
“Hell no. I’d be dead if I did,” I laugh back. He laughs too.
It’s good to be me. I’d be better to be a size 12 me, but still good.
6-22-04, Monday
10:05 am
B.R. Park
20′10
17:39 min/mi
1.13 miles
192 calories
Pre-jog thoughts: I hate jogging. I hate jogging. I hate jogging. Ass is too big. Still hate jogging.
Jog thoughts: Again with the “I can always walk” mentality. I just didn’t feel too great or energetic. I am, however, noticing the slight effects of jogging on my body. I passed by a window yesterday wearing a new pair of capris (thrift store, yeah!) and stopped for a second glance. My gut wasn’t preceeding me. I think I might actually be able to see my toes in the shower. Will check on that one.
Post Jog: Just about fell over when Tiger Woods called me on the iPod to tell me that was my fastest time ever. Then I went home and watched him lose at Bethpage Black. Hope I didn’t jinx him.
What I Noticed: More weirdos at the park. Shouldn’t these people be working? Seriously. Do you really need to drive to the park to smoke your cigarettes so I inhale your nastyass fumes as I jog by? And do you think non-smokers don’t know you’re smoking in the woods themselves if they can’t see you? Helloooo….smoke stinks. And so do your morals.
First time for…: crossing the same starting line I start from. Not a real starting line, just a big square of grafitti from the local wanna-be gang bangers association. Like a welcome mat the the park. I usually only make it to the little tree at the curve but for some reason, I made it further.
6-20-09, Saturday
9:22 am
B.R. Park
20′08
18:05min/mi
1.11 miles
187 calories
Pre-jog thoughts: I forget. It’s Weds. of the next week and I forgot to blog my last two runs (before today). I know there was a reason I didn’t do it Friday…hmm…oh yeah. Lightening. I’m not so much into that scene. Electricity & me…not such good friends.
Jog thoughts: Again, I forget. Probably feeling pretty good. I don’t think I had any major issues to hash out.
Post Jog: Morning jogs feel better because there are less park weirdos sitting around in their cars. I do remember as I jogged, more people came into the park. Like at one point I think I counted 10 cars. And there aren’t really that many parking spots. Weird.
What I Noticed: A strange red patch of grass in the woods near where I start. I was a little unnerved, so I pulled out my Nancy Drew magnifying glass and investigated, half expecting to find a body and blood. It was only red from where a few idiot kids had been setting off fireworks the night before. Good thing for me. I was hardly dressed to be interviewed by CNN for finding a dead body.
First time for…: Jogging up the hill at the halfway point. Whoever designed my course is an idiot. Who puts a hill at the halfway point? Oh, wait. Strike that. It’s me.
6-17-09, Weds.
11:16am
B.R. Park
20’11
18:20 min/mi
1.10 miles
185 calories
Pre-jog thoughts: Reluctant. Not to the point of blowing stuff off but just dragging my feet. Started to clean kitchen until I realized I hated that more than jogging. Felt fine, a little slow. Lower ribs on both sides achy on and off last two days. Figured I could take it slow if I want, or even walk. It’s freaking humid out today. Hope that doesn’t aggravate the side stitch.
Jog thoughts: I ran the entire first 10:55 without walking once. Only sucked wind once, luckily that cleared before I hit the park police station. Can’t be sucking wind when running by the boys in uniform, can we?
At the turn, eased into a walk though I didn’t feel the need to. Know I have killer hill to tackle and want to try. Jogged from speed bump to speed bump and down to dip in road. Took last 5 min. solid.
Post Jog: Not as worn out as I have been before. Not sucking wind nearly half as bad as Monday. Ribs not hurting at all. No side stitch. A miracle in itself. Usher & R. Kelly make me smile. Good cooldown song. Wish I were The(ir) Same Girl.
What I Noticed: Baby walnuts falling from the trees. Reminds me of picking walnuts with Granny A. We’d pick tons of ‘em and put ‘em in the driveway under dad’s car tires so he’d take off the outer hull, making shelling easier. Love the smell of walnut hulls. Not the stain on the fingers, so much.
First time for…: talking to someone while I jogged. Usually I just ignore people or, if they are skinnier than me, give them a hateful stare from behind the safety of my sunglasses. Today a woman was pushing a stroller with three kids piled on each other like Subway piles the meat on a BMT, and had one hanging from her neck. I laughed when she passed and said, “Looks like you’ve got it much worse than me.” True. Especially considering I never have to share my donuts with kids. That would suck.
Since I’m too lazy to do two separate workout logs, I’m gonna start posting my workout data here on my blog. It’s for my reference, not yours. No whining. It’s my blog and I’ll lie if I want to.
Plus, it might just be comedy relief if you’re ever short on conversation starters at a party. Instead of talking baseball stats or the latest BOGO at Payless, you can get your friends to log on and laugh at how long it takes me to run a mile. I don’t mind.
I’m starting today with Jog Log #1 only because I really can’t remember details from my other jogs aside from the fact that I seriously suck wind for the last few minutes every day. Could be worse. Could be sucking other “things”.
Without further comment, I’m off to post my first jog log. Try not to laugh too loud. You might wake someone up…
I came to a sad realization this afternoon but not until I was in the middle of the madness and could do nothing about it.
Fat girls (size 10 and up) should not be shopping at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
The kid wanted to go to spend a gift card that’s been burning a hole in his pocket, so I agreed. I just read an abso-fabulous book on being/becoming a runner (yes, I’m still on that kick) these last few days and some of the stuff they mention, like the non-cotton tshirts, interest me. Not enough to drop half a C-note for something I can live without for now since I’m only burning up the road at a paltry 17’49 (average), which makes the chub rub chafing minimal at this point in my jogging career. But I am curious about the whole runner’s lifestyle.
Well, that was, until I found an XL (so it claimed) pair of Nike jogging ankle pants on the clearance rack that were obviously mislabled, both on the hang tag and the garment tag. If those were XL (which I rarely buy because L fits just fine), then I’m in the wrong place. As I wandered the aisles alone, I could almost hear the store security guys watching me on camera, snickering. “Look over there! In the golf equipment! Fat girl on the loose! Should we tell her the tent section is on the opposite end of the store?”
I stared down the security bubbles to shut them up, then promptly bought myself a zero-gravity lawn chair that will not only fit my thighs but cradle them in comfort as I sip my margarita. If my ass doesn’t fit in their pants, at least it’ll fit in their chairs.
I did leave with one burning question I wanted to ask the size 4 clerk: do runners start skinny? Or is there a fat jogger’s store I can visit? Hmmm…the world may never know.
Thanks, John Mayer, my secret-smart boyfriend, for that title.
Today I laced up and ran another 20 minutes without much hatred toward mankind and the Hostess Co. I’ve got my mile time under 20 minutes (don’t laugh). I think I’m milin’ at about 18:54 or something equally embarassing, but the important thing is that I actually convince my body that the pain is worth it.
It was an every-two-days gig but with the pending class reunion, the M-W-F schedule’s been invoked. I can do this for a month.
While I sat in the school office lacing up my Asics, the assistant principal came in.
“Where you going? Aerobics?” she asked.
I practically fell off my chair laughing. The only thing funnier to me than getting this body into jogging mode is willingly flinging it about a room with other slender, svelte women in leotards and leg warmers.
“Jogging. Gotta lose a little weight.”
A dreamy, misty look settled over her features. “Oh, wow. I love jogging. I never feel better than when I’m out for a run. But with two kids, I never have time. I love jogging.”
“Me…”
WHAT? I almost said, “Me, too?!” I “love” jogging as much as I “love” having my teeth drilled without novacaine. (Yes, it’s happened, no, it wasn’t pleasant. That may have been the only time I can truly say I wish I had been jogging instead of lying in a chair).
I snapped my loose lips closed. “Not me. Hate it. But I know it works.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I lost about 40 pounds years ago by jogging and lifting weights. I figure since I’m almost 40, it’s time to lose this butt I inherited from my mother’s side, once and for all.”
She cracked up and got a call on her walkie to help out at bus duty, leaving me relieved. For a moment, I was afraid my almost-faux-pas would lead her to ask where I jog, and to offer to come jog with me. (Unlike many people, I get along well with my administration). In addition to not sharing donuts, I also do not share exercise time. No one in my life will ever hear me gasping and sucking wind. Talk about humiliation.
The weird thing is…that jogging is making me feel better. I don’t know if it’s mental (I mean, I’m mental) but I’m growing more conscious of what I’m eating and making better choices. If the truth be told, I didn’t eat a donut last week.
Worry not, I will fall off the wagon again sometime. Probably soon, with the impending end of the year. Donuts or margaritas will be my undoing. Be here for the fun!