I came to a sad realization this afternoon but not until I was in the middle of the madness and could do nothing about it.
Fat girls (size 10 and up) should not be shopping at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
The kid wanted to go to spend a gift card that’s been burning a hole in his pocket, so I agreed. I just read an abso-fabulous book on being/becoming a runner (yes, I’m still on that kick) these last few days and some of the stuff they mention, like the non-cotton tshirts, interest me. Not enough to drop half a C-note for something I can live without for now since I’m only burning up the road at a paltry 17’49 (average), which makes the chub rub chafing minimal at this point in my jogging career. But I am curious about the whole runner’s lifestyle.
Well, that was, until I found an XL (so it claimed) pair of Nike jogging ankle pants on the clearance rack that were obviously mislabled, both on the hang tag and the garment tag. If those were XL (which I rarely buy because L fits just fine), then I’m in the wrong place. As I wandered the aisles alone, I could almost hear the store security guys watching me on camera, snickering. “Look over there! In the golf equipment! Fat girl on the loose! Should we tell her the tent section is on the opposite end of the store?”
I stared down the security bubbles to shut them up, then promptly bought myself a zero-gravity lawn chair that will not only fit my thighs but cradle them in comfort as I sip my margarita. If my ass doesn’t fit in their pants, at least it’ll fit in their chairs.
I did leave with one burning question I wanted to ask the size 4 clerk: do runners start skinny? Or is there a fat jogger’s store I can visit? Hmmm…the world may never know.